Eric Wilder of The Grimm Report is in the house! And he’s got a new book!

I HumptyWhat if Humpty Dumpty didn’t actually fall from his infamous wall, as we’ve all been led to believe … but jumped? What Rumpelstiltskin’s “straw-to-gold” scandal landed him on the wrong side of the law? What if TMZ didn’t report on inebriated celebrities, but the marital mishaps of fairy tale icons like Beauty and her feral spouse?

As a huge fan of The Grimm Report — Eric Wilder’s mock-tabloid website that satirizes popular fairy tales, nursery rhymes, and folk tales — I’m extremely excited about his new book, I, Humpty (available now at Amazon). Eric’s here today to talk about it, answer some questions, and give one lucky reader an autographed print copy of the new release. Enjoy!

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1. What can readers expect from I, Humpty? 

I, Humpty is a collection of mock-tabloid satire that marries the reality of everyday life with popular elements from fairytales, folklore, and nursery rhymes. Rejoice with the Beast as Belle grants him permission to convert the den into a man-cave. Learn why the third little pig grows weary of his live-in brothers. Follow the courtroom drama of Rumpelstiltskin’s indictment in the Straw-To-Gold Scandal. I, Humpty covers all of these stories and more.

The articles within I, Humpty were selected from a website called The Grimm Report, a fake news site featuring fairytale/current event mashups to celebrate the absurd. Creating a book gave me an opportunity to expand on some ideas I had. I invite you to take a look at the results.

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2. How did The Grimm Report and its mock-tabloid stories come about?

A couple of years ago I took a creative writing class at a local literary institution as an extracurricular diversion. One evening my instructor challenged students to take well-known characters in the public domain and reinvent them. That week I had come up with an elaborate story, detailing on how Humpty Dumpty hadn’t merely fallen off the wall. Instead, he was a crazed thrill-seeking daredevil who jumped. Continue reading

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What’s Your Patronus?

There’s never a bad time for Harry Potter, in my opinion, but October has got to be the best. With neighborhood lawns already filling up with witches, ghosts, goblins, and all sorts of spooky … what better time for a Patronus Charm?

Thanks to M’s Bookshelf and  Sky’s Book Corner for finding this neat little quiz that predicts what your unique magical guardian would look like. A cat? A horse? A phoenix? I apparently share the latter with Dumbledore. Can’t go wrong with that!

Click here to find out yours!

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Ebook news: Desperately Ever After is a #1 Amazon Best Seller (times three!)

Surfed on over to Amazon yesterday to check the status of my 99-cent sale and saw this:

Amazon  rank 49 on 10-01-14

Yup, that’s #1 in women’s humor, #1 in women’s fantasy, #1 in paranormal fantasy, and #49 throughout the entire Kindle store!! Dare I pinch myself?!

It’s a Kindle Countdown sale, so the 99-cent price will go up to $1.99 early Friday morning (EST) and then back to its regular $3.99 on Monday. The clock is ticking ;)

 

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Once Upon a Time returns!

once-upon-a-time-season-4

(Warning: This post may contain spoilers from season 3!)

Summer may be the season of leisure, but there’s something truly magical about autumn. The kaleidoscopic carpet of red and yellow leaves. The smell of stripped earth. The early sunsets. The brisk nights. And the return of our favorite TV shows.

This year, however, winter descends early as the fourth season of Once Upon a Time returns with a new face in tow: Elsa from Disney’s hit film, Frozen. Will the cursed Snow Queen play a villain? A hero? A romantic rival to the long-awaited and much-celebrated “Captain Swan?”

What’s more, will the Evil Queen slide right back into her old ways now that her flame’s wife is back? Now that yet another “happily ever after” has been yanked from her grasp?

Many questions hung in the air as season 3 ended in May. Thankfully, the answers will finally start coming tonight!

Reminder: The drawing for a Once Upon a Time DVD (season 1) and a signed copy of Damsels in Distress (Book 2 in the Desperately Ever After series) ends at midnight (EST) Sunday, September 28. Click here to enter

 

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Desperately Ever After dream cast — and an extra shot at Once Upon a Time

Aside from securing a seven-figure book deal or winning a Pulitzer, the coolest thing I can imagine as an author is to one day watch my work come alive on the big screen. To see the jewel-toned spires of Carpale’s skyline. To hear Rapunzel’s rants against “true love.” To join in as others cheer Belle’s growing independence, laugh at Cinderella’s vengeful “masterpiece,” and roll their eyes at Penny’s helicopter mother-in-law.

Unfortunately, Hollywood hasn’t called just yet. But just in case, here is my Dream Cast* for the Desperately Ever After series. Hey, it doesn’t hurt to be prepared! ;)

(Contest Bonus: Leave your own picks for an additional two bids in the Once Upon a Time/Damsels in Distress giveaway. Details and instructions at bottom of post.)

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THE LADIES

"Emmy Rossum, 2011" by MingleMediaTVNetwork

“Emmy Rossum, 2011″ by MingleMediaTVNetwork*

Belle (Beauty and the Beast): Emmy Rossum

During the course of the series, D.E.A.’s Belle goes from a sweet, naive, ingénue to a strong, independent, kick-ass woman. I’ve loved Emmy Rossum since she played innocent Christine in The Phantom of the Opera, but her performance as Fiona in Showtime’s Shameless really blew me away.

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"Kristen Bell" by pinguino k from North Hollywood, USA

“Kristen Bell” by pinguino k from North Hollywood, USA*

Cinderella: Kristen Bell

For D.E.A.’s Cinderella, I picture an actress who shines playing the super smart, responsible, sophisticated woman who tends to bite off way more than she can chew and gets crazy paranoid when the slightest things go wrong — but still remains cute and lovable the entire time. For those of you who’ve seen When in Rome, all I have to say is “fountain breakdown.” For those who haven’t seen it, what are you waiting for?

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Yes, there is good in the world

Despite my résumé, I’m not a huge fan of today’s media. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying there aren’t loads of wonderful, ethical, idealistic journalists out there who want to make a real difference in people’s lives. In truth, this is probably the case more often than not, but they’re usually not the people who hold the purse strings. And those who do, unfortunately, seem to believe that sensationalized violence sells better. That evil should be slapped under a microscope and analyzed and theorized and replayed and dissected to the point where it’s absurd. That the monsters deserve more attention than the martyrs … because human beings are innately fearful … and that is an easy quality to exploit.

But I could go on about this forever and get nowhere. (As many, many others have done.) So instead, I’d like to share some of the sites I found last weekend, after I wiped CNN from my bookmarks and went on a search for “positive” news. They might just help you remember that for every horrible thing that happens in the world, there are a million other reasons to smile.

1. The Good News Network: This site gathers stories from around the globe. In addition to categorizing its stories by region, the Good News Network also makes it easy to find whatever your aura needs at the moment–be it cute pets, a good laugh, or a hero. Continue reading

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Contest alert: Desperately Ever After and Once Upon a Time giveaway!!

A few months ago, Chick Lit Central recommended the Desperately Ever After series for anyone suffering from “Once Upon a Time withdrawal” during the summer break. So with OUAT returning in twelve days and the print version of Book Two (Damsels in Distress) hitting the cyber bookshelves today, it seemed the perfect time for a little giveaway magic!

Up for grabs: one signed copy of Damsels in Distress and a brand new DVD of Once Upon a Time’s first season.

To enter, click here or on the graphic below. The giveaway runs through September 28, when the people of Storybrooke officially return. (My apologies, but due to shipping costs and the format of the DVD format, only U.S. addresses are eligible.) Best of luck!!

blog giveaway

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Do you believe in 398.2?

While browsing around Etsy the other day, I stumbled upon a necklace that bore these words: “I still believe in 398.2.” Naturally, having no idea what this meant, I immediately opened up a new tab and Googled it.

Now, “I still believe in 398.2″ is one of my favorite sayings. It ranks just under “Live like there’s no midnight,” a Cinderella reference that I partially credit for both the name of this blog and a key scene in Desperately Ever After. The number 398.2 corresponds to the folktales, fairytales, and fables section of the library. Thank you, Dewey Decimal.*

The pendant above, offered by Newartpendants, is just one of many iterations of this saying. Check out more offerings here. Perhaps you deserve an end-of-summer treat?

*Yes, I know the founder of this system was Melvil Dewey, not Dewey Decimal. But the latter sounds so much more fun ;)

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What if Disney princes were real??

Guarantee #1: They’re handsome
Guarantee #2: They can sing (and dance)
Guarantee #3: They aren’t quite as dreamy as you imagined

Ever stopped to think about what was really going on in those fairy tales?

If you like this, check out Desperately Ever After. You may never see Beast, Sleeping Beauty, or Prince Charming’s find-me-a-wife ball the same way again!

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Giveaway ends noon Friday

The wonderful Danielle Poiesz has been kind enough to celebrate the release of Damsels in Distress with an interview and giveaway!!

She asks some fantastic questions about the future of the series, and is offering two copies of Desperately Ever After (Book One). All you have to do is name your favorite prince or princess. (And apparently, Xena warrior princess counts!)

Check it out here: Reading Between the Lines

 

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