Category Archives: Desperately Ever After

Does anyone here remember the phrase, “Be kind, rewind?” Do you recall a store called Blockbuster? Did you ever sprint towards a wall packed with new releases, stomach full of butterflies, only to find out there were no precious white boxes behind the glittering Hollywood covers? Do you remember when packing for vacation meant sorting through a knee-high pile of books — knowing the mood could strike for any one of them on your trip, but unwilling to lug all of them with you?

Friends, we truly do live in the age of convenience. And while it definitely goads me that my kids assume I should have access to every song, every movie, and every episode of any television show they want at a given moment … which often leads to us listening to “Frozen 2,” “Disney Junior Dance Party,’ and “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” two dozen times rather than succumbing to a good classic rock radio station (God forbid they hear a commercial) … it’s generally pretty awesome.

Bear in mind, I say all this as one of the last people of my generation to get:

• a smartphone (I refused for ages),
• a tablet (basically a big smartphone)
• a Kindle (after refusing to “disrespect” physical books for years, I received one as a gift and now don’t board a plane without it),
• a smart watch (I just recently agreed to “try it out”)
• Audible (still on my free trial month)

I say all this because I’m amazed at how different things are for my kids than they were for me. Fundamentally they are the same — they still want to watch tv after school, they still want their own music in the car, they still need constant entertainment at restaurants, waiting rooms, etc. But the way in which they achieve these things, and the declining rate at which they have to settle for something else, is so different. Can you imagine what would happen if they asked to watch “Frozen,” and I replied that I put a hold on it at the library and we could go pick it up in 4-6 weeks?

I guess it’s our job as parents to make sure they learn to compromise in this age of instant satisfaction. To make sure they still get dissatisfied once in a while, so they know how to cope.

In the kingdom of Connecticut, autumn is symbolic of the end. It’s when the flowers stop growing, the trees start to fall asleep, and the playgrounds become a little less busy. It is not ordinarily a time for renewal.

For me, however, autumn 2019 is a season of rebirth. Like Snow White in the glass coffin, Sleeping Beauty at the end of her 300-year nap, and Cinderella after trying on the lost glass slipper, my books are getting a whole new lease on life. As am I.

Without going into too much detail, a change in representation made it necessary for me to remove my entire series from one account and upload it to another. It could have been a simple switch. But anyone who knows me well knows that I have a tendency to turn even the simplest tasks into long, all-consuming projects because I need them to be perfect. (That, and I’m slightly OCD with a penchant for second-guessing everything.)

So in May, I thought about the fact that my books would have to be moved anyway. I thought about how they’d need to get new identification numbers anyway. I thought about how I was never really happy with the third book’s cover. And I thought about the fact that between the launch of Desperately Ever After and the conclusion of the series, I moved, navigated two pregnancies, had more than a few health scares, and tried to keep up with the impossible task of raising a newborn/toddler. Needless to say, I may have been a little preoccupied (aka crazed, sleep-deprived, manic, spiritually depleted) at times.

So on October 15 — after a summer filled with road trips, beach vacations, and revisions — I am relaunching the entire series without a two-year gap between books 2 and 3. I’m relaunching the series with a new cover for Skipping Midnight, a better map, character lists, and tighter prose. I’m relaunching the series with every plot hole I could find sewn shut, every mediocre word rethought, and many opportunities for future stories sprinkled in.

But most importantly, I am relaunching the series. I formatted the manuscript. I uploaded the art, keyed in the descriptions, and chose what programs in which to enroll. I will be in full control of my creation from here on out — no longer waiting on a white-gloved intermediary  to make every minor change.

Technically, I was a self-published author in 2014 and 2016, when these books first came out. But I did not have full control over them. I was “self -published” through an agency. Now that I’m pulling the strings, autumn of 2019 just feels different. It feels invigorating. Like a crisp October breeze or cascade of orange leaves twirling through the air … it feels like I — and my characters — are free.

Right now, I am tossing a ball for my dog in the backyard where I grew up. The air feels like spring but smells like autumn, and the ground has a blanket of yellow and orange leaves. My brilliant but headstrong toddler is napping in what used to be my little brother’s room. The baby in my belly is starting to get antsy. I have no idea what to make for dinner when my husband comes home from work. And there are a still million things I need to do before I release my third book … before I officially say goodbye (at least in novel form) to the women I’ve considered friends since I first started molding them in my head almost twenty years ago.

The combination of all these things is creating one of those deeply introspective moments during which I can hardly believe how much has changed since I was a kid … since I was racing around this same swath of grass with my brothers and waiting for my mom to call us in for dinner.

It’s amazing how quickly life can move sometimes. In the past three years alone, I published my first two books, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, came to terms with two autoimmune diseases, moved to a new town, became pregnant again, and finished another novel. Needless to say, it’s been a mixture of amazing and bittersweet—and always, always memorable.

And now I stand on another precipice: the publication of the third and final book in my Desperately Ever After series. This, too, is bittersweet.

I realize it might sound silly to say I’ll miss the characters in my books—just as I once thought it silly when authors said they began a project with one plan but their characters eventually “took control” and steered it somewhere else entirely. I realize it might sound even sillier because my main characters were plucked from other people’s work. The original Cinderella story is not mine. Nor is Rapunzel’s. Or Belle’s. Or those belonging to Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, or the princess who slept on the pea.

But the Rapunzel in my story is a flaming martini mixed in Samantha Jones’s favorite NYC nightclub. Cinderella is far more Lynette Scavo than Charles Perrault. Belle is a nod to every literary heroine who started out making female readers cringe but steadily grew into an example of feminine strength. I used the original tales to outline their backstories (which have nothing to do with Disney, by the way), but my imagination filled in … and questioned … and rewrote … all the rest.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is that the women of Marestam are as much my children as are the bundle of insanity napping in my brother’s old room right now and the tiny ninja using my insides for target practice. They are my twenty- and thirty-something imaginary friends. Bringing their stories to a close was tough not because they didn’t give me direction, but because I really didn’t want to say goodbye.

Of course, there are opportunities for novellas. There are ideas for shorter stories featuring either the main characters or others in their world. There might be a holiday special here or there. But I’ll also be moving on. When the pre-order period for Skipping Midnight ends and the book goes live on November 16, it will signal the end of one era for me and the beginning of another. But for that moment, in my head I’ll be sitting on Rapunzel’s balcony, overlooking the towers of Carpale Castle alongside Belle, Cindy, Dawn, Snow, and Penny, raising my glass to friendship and to the many different ways in which we can find love.

Image: 123rf.com, christopher hall